How to Spice Things Up in the Bedroom: Ideas from Sex Therapists

Dr. Bárbara García, OB-GYN and sex therapist at WeSex, puts it this way: when the same stimulus repeats, your brain responds to it less. That is habituation, and it is the same reason a song you loved stops moving you after the fiftieth play. Sex that used to feel hot starts to feel lukewarm.

The unexpected is a turn-on. And the more senses you engage, the more information your brain gets to work with. So the size of the change doesn't matter. What matters is that something changes.

Not all routine is boring. Erotic habits keep you open to sex, and knowing what's coming can make you feel safe enough to enjoy it. What helps is a transition ritual from everyday life to erotic mode: a shower, putting your phone away, a favorite song.

Change the setting

1. Vary the intensity. Slow and gentle one day, fast the next. Each has its own magic.
2. Set the mood. Candles, music, warm light. Preparing the space already puts you in the mood.
3. Get out of the bed. The kitchen, the shower, the table.
4. Get out of the house. A night in a hotel separates sex from the everyday.

Change the dynamic

5. The time bomb. Set a timer: no penetration until it hits zero. It pushes you to explore other areas and builds tension.
6. Theme nights. One night just massage, another just oral sex, another just masturbation.
7. Swap roles. Trade who takes the more active role and who takes the more passive one.
8. First date. Go out as if you just met and keep it up all night.

Play with the senses

9. Blindfolds. They heighten the other senses and lower inhibitions. Take turns, and talk afterward about how it felt.
10. Textures. Feathers, fabrics, ice.
11. Music. It syncs your movements and quiets the mental to-do list.

Play with words

12. Sext and talk. Few long-term couples do it. A whisper, a text in the middle of the day or a private code word can spark desire from a distance.

Before trying something new, talk. Dr. García's guide suggests each of you make a list of activities and sort them into three columns: what you want, what you'd try and what you wouldn't do. Then compare. Whatever you both put under "want" is your starting point.

Anything new needs both partners' consent, and a check-in afterward to see what worked.

This ritual from the Explore Without Limits plan is one of the most completed in the app. Pick a moment from your sex life you remember with desire. Close your eyes for a minute and go back there: what you saw, what you heard, what you felt on your skin. That memory is fuel: it gives you clues about what to bring into your sex life today.

In the app, Luna helps you turn it into a concrete idea to share with your partner.